Dear CEO,
    I recently read the “Nutrition Facts” story you are printing on the side of cans of Coca-Cola.  While I found the story to be an interesting read, I felt taht it could use a little “punching up” if you decide to print this on the side of every can of Coca-Cola you distribute.  (By the way, I’ve always wondered just how many cans of Coca-Cola you make every year.  I’ll guess 5,000.  I know that I tend to drink a six-pack every week, and does one of my neighbors.  I asked my neighbor on the other side, and she said she’s diabetic.  Talk about changing the subject!)
    A quick aside while I already have your attention: I thought of a logo you could use to sell more Coca-Cola.  How about a can of Coca-Cola wearing sunglasses and holding a surfboard!  This tells kids, “Hey, I like to have fun doing the surf,” but it tells older people, “I consider the safety of my eyeballs to be important.”  Also, and I couldn’t find a way to work this in, but I think it would be great if he was surfing on an ocean of Coca-Cola.
    Anyhow, here are the suggestions I have for your “Nutrition Facts” Story:

• Who is the main character?  You mention Sodium, Calories, and Total Carb, but none of these characters tend to stick around.  You should pick one and stick with it.  Come to think of it, I’m not sure what the story’s about.   “A fanciful description of the nobility in the mystical realm of Coca-Cola” would be my best guess, but it’s just a guess. 
  
• In one paragraph, you mention “High Fructose Corn Syrup.”  You should be aware that kids could be reading this, and you should be careful not to encourage doping.  This also applies to “Phosphoric Acid.”
• In the same paragraph, you wrote “Sucrose.”  It’s actually spelled Socrates.  
• I like the idea of using numbers: “Sugars 42g,” but some of us don’t speak computer.  I can’t even get the thing to reheat my dinner!  Translate to English, please.
• They were willing to kill characters in Harry Potter, and at the risk of being labeled a copycat, I’d suggest you do the same thing, only include a lot more blood.  I’d like to see how Caffeine coped with the gruesome disemboweling of Natural Flavors.  Also, to lighten things up, one of the characters should say “What more could possibly go wrong!” at which point a brick falls on his head.  That gets me every time!
  

    I’d write more, but I can’t stop laughing at that “What more could possibly go wrong line.”  Who would have expected a brick to fall on his head!